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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

My Latest Read: Captivating

  
Captivating, is a book co authored and published in 2005 by the husband and wife team, John & Staci Eldredge.   Within the 218 pages is the description of the imprinted desires of a woman's soul.  John and Staci do their best in communicating the heart of women to a world so fascinated with plastic surgery, thin, thinner, and thinnest, breasts, and booty (excuse the crassness, that's just lack of a better word/San Bernardino upbringing coming out), let me say it this way: a world fascinated with adult body parts and adolescent stomachs and thighs, etc. you get the point!  When the truth is that every woman longs for the question, "Am I lovely?" to be answered (p. 48).  

Staci explains her quest to answer this age old question at the heart of every woman by diving into her past in joining the feminist movement when she was in college in the 1970's.  She explained on page 4 that she, "actually became director of the Women's Resource Center at a liberal state university in California.  But no matter how much I asserted my strength and independence as a woman ('hear me roar'), my heart as a woman remained empty."  She continues, " To be told when you are young and searching that 'you can be anything' is not helpful.  It's too vast.  It gives no direction.  To be told when you are older that 'you can do anything a man can do' isn't helpful, either.  I didn't want to be a man.  What does it mean to be a woman?"  She began asking, "How can I become a strong woman without becoming harsh?  How can I be vulnerable without drowning myself in my sorrow?"  Instead of living up to an unachievable model of femininity (both weak models and feminist models),  she began searching out the Creator's heart for His daughters, her own feminine heart, as well as the hearts of many women across the globe.  

This book is full of evidence of true femininity.  From longing to be romanced to longing to join in adventure with her hero (in this case, her husband), to her true beauty shining from within gleaming through to the exterior, and even longing to be longed for.    What's more important is that reconciling with femininity in no way says that a woman cannot get sweaty in the outdoors or that she cannot be skilled at working with her hands, etc.  But it does say that when masculinity and femininity are harmonized once again and that both sexes respect and appreciate the other, perhaps the male/female conflicts and confusions will be restored to its proper balance - men will be masculine and women will be feminine... a truly beautiful thing.

In summary, I'll quote the book once more, directly from the back cover, "The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation.  The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman - they are telling you of the life God created you to live.  He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman.  A woman who is truly captivating.

There is a huge conflict in our culture today!  Huge!  And it's terribly sad when beautiful women are troubled with insecurities due to the image of "the perfect woman" painted by an extremely sexual culture.  That is, a culture that has somehow lost the true value of an individual and has used media as the primary example.  Media, in so so many ways, introduces and slowly but surely changes the way people perceive reality and within a single generation, can shape a new "reality."  That is something to think about!!!

P.s.  I read this book a little while ago, and have since read about three more... just catching up on "My Latest Reads," so I look forward to writing about the last few latest reads that I have finished. More to come ; D
  

Thursday, July 21, 2011

E.X.E.R.C.I.S.E. Whew!


I'm coming back from a few months off from exercise!  I had a rough few months that had me sleeping for more hours than I could count and with no energy to do the things I love like riding my bikes and working out (outside of a gym that is!).  So it felt good to hit the pavement on my commuter bike to go to the store, and to run one minute, walk five (no, I'm not kidding - unfortunately the days of easily running ten miles are gone taking two stress fractures and a bum knee with them), and crazy work outs at home with Nike Training Club, an application on the iPhone for women who want to sweat and hurt for a few days after, my kind of training!

See, the transition has not been easy.  I found myself struggling to stay awake one recent afternoon but a prayer in my heart for the energy I had not long ago and suddenly I found myself with motivation!  I got up and did a nice little workout that kicked my butt for a few days to kick start my journey back into healthy exercising.

Why is exercising so important?  Aside from helping a person age well and overall decreased fat, exercise is important for our brains!

The effects of aerobic exercise on the brain extend beyond emotional well-being. Writing for "Today's Dietitian," registered dietitian Diane Welland, says research showing a positive link between exercise and brain function dates back to the 1930s. A 2004 Harvard Study looked at the effects of exercise on the cognitive function of more than 17,000 women aged 70 to 81 for two years and found that the more a woman exercised, the better her cognitive functioning. Active women suffered at least 20 percent less decline than their sedentary counterparts.

A Mayo Clinic study published in a 2010 issue of the "Archives of Neurology" found participants who regularly took part in moderate aerobic activity reduced their risk of developing mild cognitive impairment by more than 30 percent. The exact reasons why exercise offers these benefits remains unclear -- but possible explanations include its effects on brain cell growth, improved oxygen delivery to the brain and stimulating the production of substances that repair damaged brain tissue.

(livestrong.com

How much better would our cognitive functioning be if we started young?!  To me that sounds like a life worth living - healthy and sound!  

Exercising also reduces the risk of high cholesterol, breast and colon cancers, the risk of Alzheimer's disease, constipation, stress levels and risks of premature death.  It improves sleep, mental clarity and concentration including general moods, digestion, immune function, and among many other benefits, it improves bone density.   (Why Should I Exercise?)

So, I found myself with motivation and a few things to remind myself of why it is healthy and important for me to push through my drowsiness onto a better life (in this department anyways)!

With this little tidbit on exercise, I hope you have been encouraged to go for a walk, or run (if you can), or what ever else gets your blood pumping through those arteries, which will in turn, strengthen the whole you!

What are your everyday exercise struggles?  And why does exercise almost seem like a bad word?!  I'd like to hear your perspective from where you are in life and maybe how you overcome some of your obstacles in exercising!

 

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I'm Jammin', I hope You Like Jammin' Too...

That's making jam of course!  This was my very first time making jam!  I used Pomona's Universal Pectin, which is made from citrus fruit peel, and honey!  For my first batch of jam ever, it was delicious!  I gave some away so we didn't have much to enjoy for ourselves but I did freeze some apricots (processed in the food processor and lemon juice added to help retain color) so I can make more when needed!!!

Making jam seemed daunting at first.  I had the pectin on hand for about a month, pulling it out from time to time to read the directions, only to fold them back up and put the little box back into the pantry.  Our plethora of apricots were just the thing to muster up the momentum I needed!  I didn't want any apricots to go to waste so I quickly took care of them by splitting them to take the seeds out and chopped them in my trusty food processor and made jam!  The process included mashing four cups of fruit mixed with 1/4 cup of lemon juice, and 4 tsp of calcium water (sounds complicated, I know - the calcium comes with the pectin and you add it to water via the directions - easy) then heated to just boiling.  Add 1/2 to 1 cup of sweetener (I used 3/4 cup of honey), 3 tsp of pectin mixed into sweetener, then added to the fruit/lemon juice/calcium water mixture,  stirring constantly for about two minutes until the pectin is dissolved.  Bring to another boil then pack mixture into jars of choice (the directions call for eight 8oz jars but it only filled six)!   Next, boil jars to seal the canning lids for about 10 minutes - time specified for jar size.  And you are finished!  Total time to make six 8oz jars of jam was approximately 30 minutes - WAY easier than I thought!

Have you made jam before?!  What flavors?!  How about any good "jammin'" stories?  Now that I am confident that I can produce delicious jam, I am looking forward to making all sorts of flavored creations!

Monday, July 11, 2011

My Latest Read: How We Love

In which way do you love your spouse?  Your friends?  How about your neighbors?  What about those chronic issues that seem to emerge and reemerge?   Or are you the one who stuffs emotions somewhere else besides the current moment, planning never to revisit them?  Either way, you are one of billions of people in the world (yes, each and everyone of us) who have learned to love in one way or another from the people and life circumstances who imprinted their pattern into you.

How We Love, coauthored by Milan & Kay Yerkovich, is a book that doesn't talk about gender differences, how men and women are different in relationship, but about  life styles and the ways those styles directly relate to "how we love."  They summarize many studies of the Attachment Theory into six styles of relating and loving, the Secure Connector, the Avoider,  the Pleaser, the Vacillator, and the Chaotic love style which is broken into two - the Controller and the Victim.

Given each of these love styles, Milan (a Pleaser) and Kay (an Avoider) expand on case studies from their own counseling office experiences including an in depth look into their own marriage, and explains how these imprints are taken from, "our first lessons in love" (p. 25, How We Love) as children.  Believe it or not, it is incredibly common for a Vascillator to marry an Avoider, a Pleaser to marry a Vascillator, a Controller to marry a Victim, and for an Avoider to marry a Pleaser.  Too often couples struggle and don't even realize that they are doing the same "dance" that many couples across the world are doing.

The best and most giving aspect of How We Love is their proven methods to break the "all too familiar" cycles and to love your spouse in a deeper more loving way than what one ever thought was possible.  Milan and Kay have developed techniques for deeper communicating, for slowing down when a situation gets out of control, and so much more.  In addition, this book comes with an entire workbook at the end which will further navigate your marriage and/or relationships down the path of success. A couple of my favorite sentences from the book read as follows,

"As you learn to listen and engage more fully with each other, you'll be entering into all the life experience of your spouse - the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the inspiring and the routine, the admirable and the mediocre, the happiness and the pain.  Remember, deepening in your bond means embracing the whole person."  

This is followed shortly with,

" Love consists in seeing into the very center of the twistedness and sin and self-love that are in the heart of another person, and yet not being repelled;  holding onto the grace by which we ourselves are loved and finding in it the strength to descend with another into their darkest place.  If we love other people for their saintliness, then we do not love at all.  Love is wasted on saints.  It is meant for the sinner."  (p. 283)   

We hear all too often about couples "growing apart" or "changing," etc. and the result is divorced relationships, be it a marriage or friendship.  There is such a concept of growing together, not apart.   How many relationships could be saved if we learn to communicate our deepest of feelings and if we learn to accept the deepest feelings of others.  I know that "feelings" is a HUGE task for some, but the truth is that "feelings" are everywhere, and they deserve your attention in order to make relationships work.  And an even more tangible truth is that "feelings" are the very first experience we have as human beings - as children do not know how to relate with words, but with "feelings."

As for myself, I am on a journey to love my husband for who he is and to love myself for who I am.  We have the classic "Avoider marries the Vascillator," but who says we have to do the same ol' dance?!  We want to learn how to truly love and how to truly love deeply.  Change never comes easy, but endurance will overcome!

I want to hear your thoughts on this book if you have read it.  Has it changed your relationship?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Summer's Bounty: Apricots

Eli's hand reaching for the gold...
After months of seeing the beautiful apricot flowers turn into little green balls which then transform into golden, redish-orange balls of delicious wonder, our apricots are finally ready to be picked. 
While historians are not completely sure where apricots originated, most of modern American production of apricots is from California with some in Washington and Utah.  In the world, apricots are grown in continental climates and Mediterranean climates like Turkey, Persia, and Australia (not excluding many other areas where they are grown). 
Apricot trees depend on a cold winter to allow for proper dormancy and a drier spring to allow their early blooms to come into their mature fruit stage.  Areas with late frosts have difficult times growing apricots (as we had this year - snow in April!).
Aren't they pretty : )

  • The mineral content in apricots is high, which makes them helpful in overcoming disorders like anemia, tuberculosis, asthma, bronchitis, etc.
  • The high copper and iron content in apricots increases the hemoglobin in the blood.
  • The vitamin A content in apricots is high and helps in reducing skin disorders like pimples and zits. Vitamin A also aids in improving eye-sight.
  • A certain substance called lycopene is present in apricots, which helps in the prevention of cancer and also protects the body from high cholesterol, thereby preventing heart disease.
  • Eating apricots helps in removing gallstones and also destroys intestinal worms. It also aids in digestion, since it reacts as an alkaline, breaking down food particles.
  • The fruit is considered to be a laxative and consuming it regularly will help you get rid of constipation. It is very helpful in getting rid of the waste in the body, due to its high fiber content.  (Source)
Now that we know a little bit about apricots, it's time to pick some!  That person in there is my husband, Eli, diving in (he's not afraid of the spiders like I am!).

We ended up with a huge basket full of them (apricots! - not spiders!).







Here they are all washed up and ready to be dried. Organic and NOT treated with chemical preservatives.  Perfect just the way God made them!


This batch is going to go to my friend in Minnesota - Brandis and her family :)

There are plenty more on the tree for us here in California!

What do you think about apricots?  And were you even aware of how good these sweet-somethings are for you!?

(Disclaimer: Eating too many in one sitting can cause flatulence and loose bowels so either eat a ton when you are with a trusty mate or when you are hangin' low for the day : )

Friday, July 1, 2011

My Latest Read: Change Your Brain Change Your Life

This is a book that has changed my life.

I know that that is one heck of a statement to begin a post with, but it really has.  Being one who struggles with lots of brain issues from anxiety to depression to OCD, this book has led me in paths of understanding that has caused me to not only be more gentile with myself, but most importantly, with others.

The author, Daniel G. Amen, M.D., is a child and adult psychiatrist, self-help adviser, best selling author, medical director of the Amen Clinic, a clinical neuroscientist, and I am sure he has achieved much more.  In his book, he helps people understand brain physiology, the effects of brain damage incurred during accidents/fights/head banging/etc., the effects of drugs and alcohol on the brain, and so much more.

The most amazing aspect of the book is that it divides the brain into five sections; the Deep Limbic System, the Basal Ganglia, the Prefrontal Cortex,  the Cingulate System, and the Temporal Lobes, and how each part directly effects how a person behaves.  Dr. Amen explains how, through SPECT imaging, he and many of his associates have been able to locate which parts of the brain, when over or under active, are responsible for people living in unusual realities including but absolutely not limited to depression, rage, violence, confusion, ADD/ADHD, eating disorders, and a ton of other clinically proven behavioral abnormalities ranging from severe to slightly "off." 

"If you are anxious, depressed, obsessive-compulsive, prone to anger, or easily distracted, you probably believe these problems are 'all in your head.'  In other words, you believe your problem is purely psychological.  However, research that I and others have done shows that the problems are related to the physiology of the brain-and the good news is that we have proof that you can change that physiology.  You can fix what's wrong for many problems."  (Daniel G. Amen, M.D. Pg. 3, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life)

Being one who constantly struggled/struggles with perceiving accurate reality, I have taken great pleasure in my introverted nature to hide from what I have trouble understanding.  The problem with this is that it is difficult to maintain relationships for any period of time before I find it "safer" to hide in my introversion.  After reading this book however, I gained great insight to what could be (and recently found out for sure is) a hereditary brain function imbalance.  I was inspired to get help so I could live a clearer and freer life.  Free from constant debilitating anxiety, chronic fear, and severe depression.

Before I read  Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, I was under the crippling pressure to just work harder at changing my behavior, often hearing from others so free to counsel, "if you just.........you'll feel better," or "You have to just throw yourself out there," and "what you need to do is............," and the well meaning counsel never ended.  It only threw me into a greater pit of despair because the harder I tried, the more it seemed I failed.  And I would hide more.  Worst of all, it seemed that I was alone because I was the only one who had a challenging time fixing myself (never without desperate prayer)!!!!!!!!!!  It seemed I was destined to struggle, destined to never feel the love of others (despite their out pour of love, I just couldn't receive it).  After reading and relating to specific brain impairments,  I sought help (not from Amen but a local Dr.) and I finally have hope!  Well, I can't say finally because through prayer, I always saw a light, it was just constantly out of reach.  But now, I feel the warmth of that light!!!!!!!!!!!  Hope!

So, if you or someone you love is struggling with life, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  Because this book is full of absolute insightful case studies and information, it is by nature a quick read.  Pick it up and move on to a healthier, happier and fuller life!

May God bless you dearly on your journey!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

What's In Season: Summer

I love the old days.  The days when the family would be out on the farm taking from the land what they sowed into it.  During the summer, the whole family would be out at the garden picking fresh grapes from the vine, stopping from time to time to pop into their mouths a few bulging fresh grapes, after all, it's warm outside and there is nothing like a refreshing crisp grape in the mouth of the laborer!  How about down by the cherry trees and the peach trees.  The tops of the branches always had the best.  Poppa would take a long stick and shake the branch  while momma and the little ones would collect the fallen fruits.  Usually everything enjoyed by the family would be the seasons best.  Nowadays, we can take a walk, or shall I say drive, to the nearest grocery store and pick from a slew of colorful fruits and vegetables that are in season elsewhere in the world besides here in your own home region.  In order to achieve the bright colors of the out of season delicacies in your produce isle, grocers and huge industries have to spray wax and chemicals to preserve the "freshness" because the items have traveled for many days over sea and land to make it to your grocer in the appearance of "fresh".

How do we get around this?  Enjoy what is in season!  To me, prolonging self gratification tastes so much sweeter in the right season!  From sweet potatoes in the winter to juicy peaches in the summer, and an overall happier immune system to thank me for my patience : )  I believe that God intended for us to enjoy a vitamin packed orange in the peak of the cold winter days in order to help us fight off those "cold bugs" and "flu bugs" that are at our throats when the weather is damp and chilly.  Or how about the antioxidant rich slew of berries ready in the summer to fight off the sun's damage to our skin.  It's worth a thought!

At last, I hear you asking, no, screaming, "WHAT'S IN SEASON NOW?!"  I am glad you asked!  I looked it up for you and found a great website called Fruits & Veggies More Matters to lead us to the well anticipated answer to our question.  Here is a list compiled from the site:

And you thought eating in season would be boring ; )  Only more interesting!  See, "For maximum nutrition, we're better off eating closer to the source and relying on Mother Nature for seasonal produce to keep us in balance" ( Terry Walters, Clean Food).  While I believe God is in charge of keeping balance, I agree that balance is key and that eating in season means fresher, more nutrient dense foods, and more sustainable local economies. 

What do you think?!